The Exorcist's Bestiary

When I first learned that God still speaks, I was both excited and terrified to be around prophetic people. On one hand, I wanted to hear from God. But on the other hand, I always assumed that he’d only yell at me about my addiction to pornography.

But he never did. Perhaps he knew how much I already yelled at myself for it. 

Whatever the case for his silence, when I finally got the courage to go up for prayer, an older woman told me I needed to learn to cry again. And when I went up again a month later, a different older woman told me that I needed to learn to cry again. 

They were right. I hadn’t cried in years. It took me another fifteen years to figure out why: I didn’t think I was worth crying over. Ironically, this was partially related to my struggles with porn. Other sexual struggles played a part too, as I had given parts of me away while dating and the theology of purity culture had taught me that I was now worthless and no one would ever want me again. I believed that I wasn’t worth the tears, so I didn’t cry. 

While leading participants through inner healing to get demons out, there have been a number of times where I’ve had them ask the Holy Spirit a question, to which he has responded, “They’re not ready to hear that yet.” While I knew the clear biblical truth that needed to be proclaimed over their lives, the Spirit knew that their lies were too loud for the truth to be received. I would still say it, but it wouldn’t go very far. The Spirit would have to start somewhere else to disentangle the lies before getting to the major obvious revelations they needed to hear.

There are things God wants to tell all of us, but we’re not ready to hear it. He knows when the timing is right. He will help us get ready to receive the truth, but he often needs to start somewhere else than the obvious. Will we let him?